Mom and Pop. For a second, let’s drop our defending of our parents for a moment. Yes, we owe them our lives. They fed us and protected us and got us to this point. They created us. But just for this blog, let’s let go of being good sons and daughters and examine how we felt growing up.
As you may know, parents are a huge source of wounding when we are young – through no fault of their own. When we want or need something as children and we don’t get it, our ego protects us from that pain in the future by creating a wall. Now we pretend we don’t want that love, that attention – even when we really do. And we do weird things to get it.
When we were hurt at that tender age, we had feelings about it and not all of us got to express them. Some of us had to pretend we weren’t hurt or we weren’t mad to make sure our parents continued to take care of us.
This is what locks the wall in place. This is what creates our triggers. It is an unexpressed wound. This repressed pain expresses itself in us through triggers, self- sabotage, fear, anger, anxiety, illness, resistance etc.
Mother love is meant to allow us to feel bonded, connected, beloved. If we don’t have that energy growing up we can feel alone, left out, different, unloved. If we are not nourished enough with love, attention and affection, we often don’t know how to nourish ourselves. We don’t feel happy. We don’t know how to receive (cuz of the wall). We don’t allow ourselves the time to enjoy life and nurture ourselves with good food, good company, good exercises, and good spiritual practices.
Father energy is meant to make us feel supported, capable, able to believe in ourselves and proud of ourselves. When we don’t have enough father energy we don’t know our own value, we don’t make enough money, we don’t have that ironclad faith in our abilities to see us through the obstacles.
Breathwork can help discover our wounds. Then if we summon our inner mother or father to give us the love and attention we need, we can heal.