Nourishing Yourself vs. Falling Prey to Addictions
When we don’t give ourselves the love and comfort we need, we leave ourselves open for cravings and addictions to fill in the empty spaces. People eat sugar and get addicted to text messages because they need the dopamine that both release. If we physically, spiritually and emotionally nourish ourselves, we can feel full of love and joy naturally.
But what if we haven’t been taught how to nourish ourselves? Or worse, what if we’ve been taught that self-love and self-care is narcissistic? This sabotaging belief will actually interrupt any efforts made at self-care and the result will leave us open to desperate behaviors. Refusal to take care of yourself will never go unnoticed by your body. As one’s well runs dry, we HAVE TO fill it and we will use whatever is at hand: chocolate, an affair, porn, sucking the life out of children or friends. This is why it is never selfish to practice self-care. You are preventing the unhealthy ways we make up for its lack. Let’s look at practical, easy ways to practice self-care:
Physical self-care – nourishing your body with healthy foods is important. Follow the 90/10 rule of eating: 90% healthy, 10% fun. Your body tells you when it doesn’t like the foods you are eating. It causes bloating, fatigue, bowel problems and even joint pain. Many people are gluten and dairy intolerant without knowing it. A great way to find out is to try being gluten free for a week and see if you notice a difference in how you feel. It’s healthy for your digestion to replace fried foods with baked or steamed foods. Change out vegetable oil for olive oil or coconut oil. For more health tips check out the movie “Fed Up” or the book “It Starts With Food.” Other nourishment for the body includes massage, hugs, love-letters you write to yourself and affirmations. “I am beautiful!” “I am loved.” “I receive abundance now.”
Emotional self-care – Emotional self-care can be tricky because when we repress emotions, we are often not aware of it. We are suddenly in a bad mood and we blame whoever is nearest instead of tracing the mood back to the origin of the hurt that caused it. Being self-aware requires self-honesty and quiet time. One easy way to know you aren’t repressing negative feelings is through Breathwork. Breathwork stimulates the Amygdala to release any painful, sad or angry feelings. Journal writing can accomplish the same thing. As we write, we unveil what is going on in our subconscious. Patterns can be seen.
Spiritual self-care – It doesn’t matter if you believe in the Force or God or the Universal Intelligence or the beauty of nature or your higher self. It is important to feel your connection to the goodness in the world. With our busy schedules and lack of rituals, this can sometimes be challenging. I recommend prayer in its many forms: meditation, chanting, hands pressed together asking for help, yoga. It also helps to visualize bringing energy up from the earth through the bottoms of you feet and up into your heart. Likewise, you can bring energy down from the sky though the top of your head and into your heart. You can feel the energies swirling around in your heart allowing your heart to be nourished by mother earth and father sky.
Sometimes, we need help to self-nourish. If we have a block to self-love, it can manifest as not taking care of ourselves. If it is scary to face our own issues, we will focus on other people’s issues and try to solve those. So much easier! If you have a block, get help. There are books, guided meditations and helpful (not overpriced) healers out there. The important thing is to recognize if you are feeling happy and loved inside and get the support you need if you aren’t.
One self care mistake people make is depending on someone else to give them the love they need and deserve. No one can fill a hole in our heart, but ourselves. And don’t fill it with donut holes because though tasty for two minutes, they will never give us the lasting feelings of self-love and connection to the greater good that we need to thrive. Love yourself!
If you need help with self-forgiveness…try this meditation or try Holoenergetic healing.
If you feel disconnected from your feelings, try Family Constellation.
If you can’t control your will power, get in touch with your Higher Self.